Monday, April 15, 2013

4) I have so much stuff in my house, I no longer know what most of it is good for. I don’t even know why I bought it. I must have been insane. Luckily for me, I guess, these robbers came by one day and said, “Give us all your stuff.” But they forgot some of it, so I chased after them and said, “Don’t you want my TV?”

You sat down to write the story that would make you famous.  The story of your life.  So, heres what happened.  It was such a beautiful day, and you sat down outside on your balcony, coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other.  Nice day for contrails, you thought as you looked at the sky.  Look, there's one now.  What plane made that?  Whose arc does it describe?  Who is flying a plane that flies like that?  Oh well, no matter, you thought.  Just enjoy the day.  Look at these fingers, you thought as you toked greedily, hungrily on your cigarette.  Drink some coffee, you thought, that will slow you down.  Ah, yes, look over there.  Look at that.  A cage built for children, children encaged behind this green mesh. And they call that a school, you thought.  What are they teaching them? To be in a larger prison.  A prison bigger than my tiny apartment.  I guess so, you think, but at least they are happier.  Happier than me, you think.  Your wife is not awake yet.  She lies stretched prone upon your bed.  Lifeless, or perhaps she's dreaming.  Maybe you are dreaming yourself, you think.  Too loud, that dog.  You can hear him scratching at the door, pining, whining for your attention, for all of your space.  Its all right, mate, you say.  You can play with me later.  Have you taken your medicine yet, your wife says as she wakes.  Do you want some breakfast, she says.  Not yet, you think, all I want is to jump this balcony, unfold my broken wings and see if I can fly away.  You better not.  Painted birds don't fly.  Four stories down and fast, you realise.  Okay, I'm coming, you say.  You better not.  You think. You know what will happen.  You'll just have another in a long line of arguments.  You pick up your I pad and check in.  They can see me, you think.  Of course they can, they can see everyone.  They are watching me.  So what, they don't care about me.  Not yet, but if I become too powerful, I know they'll shut me down.  I know they'll switch me off.  I know something that you don't.  So there you go, what do you think of that?  The dog is barking, again.  He wants to play, he always wants to play you think.  Hi, boy, you pick him up.  How are you mate?  After, buddy, I just want to realax for awhile.  I just need to think.  Can you pick up your clothes, can you put your stuff away, she says.  Okay, in a minute, I just want to check something.  You are always on that thing, she says.  You know that it's true.  Have you finished cooking breakfast, you want to ask.  You just want to eat, so you can escape the prison that is your house.  Fuck you, motherfuckers, you think.  Who taught us to fill our lives with so much garbage, with all this stuff no-one could ever need..  I didn't do that, you think, You did.  You remember your conversation with your friend.  You can't tell me that this is anyone else's fault.  You know it's not.  If you were born in a communist cpountry, you would probably be a communist.  If you were born in a socialist country, you would probably be a socialist.  If you were born in a democratic culture you know for sure you wouldn't be a Democrat.  Or a Republican, for that matter.  You would, and do, have no choice.  You know you don't.  You're a born consumer, a waster.  You were were born to use up and throw aaway in the hope that something better would come along.  A better wife. A better life.  A better planet.  You were born in a consumerist society, why expect anything else.  I don't know, you think, and you want to scratch your head.  But that would be too obvious.  You couldn't hide a thing like that, confusion.  You've eaten breakfast now.  Its time to take your walk.  C'mon boy, are you coming.  You get his little black bag.  We used to have an orange one, you think, what was wrong with that.  This one's too small.  Like everything else the price goes up as the size goes down. It's sleek, you know that for sure.  Come here mate, you say as you chase your boy around the house.  Where's your ball, mate, you say.  We're going for a walk.  Can you take the recycling, she says.  You say sure, but feel frustration.  Sure, no worries.  Can you get the cups.  Why have we got so many cups anyway, you wonder.  You will never know that.  Where did we get all this stuff.  You will never know.

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